What do Stay at Home moms with Three kids do all day?.......

Sometimes this

To Start this Story....I apparently do not need to keep her anonymity so here I go.  Twenty Three years  or so ago my Father and stepmother moved into their house.  I remember they moved in around summer and the pregnant lady across the street said "I have a little girl your age" and introduced us.  She was a year younger than me....and in the land of being 7 or 8, being ONE whole friggen year younger I thought she would never be able to relate to me.  Yea, that's the rational of a child.  

So as things go, we grew up, friends at some points, not friends at others, great friends again and distance again....such is life, no?  In the last couple years my neighbor friend picked up her family and moved away to provide more for her kids (I'm jealous...like very jealous) and I stayed.  We both have boys who have a certain spunk and total 3 kids each...... 3 kids in 4 years.....like its no big deal.

If you know me, you know I'm honest.  I just tell it like it is in my life.  Yes, yes, yes, Instagram and Facebook make my life and my children look perfect but....no, no no, nothing is perfect.  So today, I talked to my favorite neighbor (you be Wilson, I'll me Tim Taylor) via text......and shit got real......because i guess we were both in the mood to be real.....and then share it on the Internet.....lmao.

This may only be funny to us but....whatever..... #thisisreallife  Stop lying.....all you moms lie

This is the REAL REAL Housewives of Long Island/ North Carolina

  


 
 
 
 

DIY HE Safe Laundry Powder Soap

DIY HE Safe Laundry Powder Soap ....

Featuring Young Living Essential Oils

Im cheap.....ok maybe cheap is too harsh....Im THRIFTY!

I hate buying Laundry Detergent.  Its pricey, it goes quickly and the fragrance just SCREAMS Chemicals to me.  Don't get me wrong....I love things to smell nice, but there is no way that green slime detergent has anything natural in there.  I started researching and stumbled upon articles like THIS and THIS oh wait here is some MORE and here is a FOURTH article just for fun.

After reading about Optical brighteners, irritants etc......i didn't want to buy anymore blue green slime to wash my clothes in.  IT was time to research and pull that box of Borax out of the laundry closet.

I got the recipe from a friend a few weeks ago but with my second batch I decided to use some Young Living Essential Oils to give me some natural fragrance!

Recipe is as Follows:

• 1 Cup Washing Soda
• 1 Cup Borax
•  1 Bar of Kirks Castille Soap Shredded ( I used small size of cheese grater)

MIX DRY ingredients in a medium/large bowl

Now for the Fun....well scent is fun for me anyway.  Note you can use any Essential Oil Combination you'd like, I just did some common ones for this batch.

For this batch I used 

10 drops of each of the following oils 

Lavender: Lavender is an adaptogen, and therefore can assist the body when adapting to stress or imbalances. It is a great aid for relaxing and winding down before bedtime, yet has balancing properties that can also boost stamina and energy. Therapeutic-grade lavender is highly regarded for skin and beauty. It may be used to soothe and cleanse common cuts, bruises, and skin irritations.

 Thieves Oil: Thieves® was created based on research about four thieves in France who covered themselves with cloves, rosemary, and other aromatics while robbing plague victims. This proprietary essential oil blend was university tested for its cleansing abilities. It is highly effective in supporting the immune system and good health.*

* This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

NOW MIX AGAIN.....MIX FOR 5 Minutes or so

Grab a Quart Mason jar and TA DA!!!

When you do your wash......Add 1 Table Spoon of powder (2 for heavily soiled items)

Remember this detergent is HE SAFE!

There you have it.  A Natural, inexpensive, safe way to wash your clothes.  

Enjoy!

No......He was not Misdiagnosed

As Frankie gets older, I have this question/comment made ofter.  After YEARS of intense therapy my son has learned to cope and live in this world like any other typical child.  There are some days he reverts and I see an old behavior, to others who don't know him, they think he's being a bad kid....I know better.

So for those who can't believe it.... here are a few examples we had video taped so that the Psychologist could analyze.

For 6 months, 5 days a week we had therapists in our house 3 hours a day....teaching him to PLAY....because he literally had no idea how to play.

WARNING:  First video involves A LOT of screaming, turn volume down....or be ready to at least.

I'm So Thankful They Asked

Yes, I blocked out faces for privacy reasons :)

This may end up being an Ode to the moms that asked.....that CARED.

This year my son started out in a self contained Special Ed class that had 8 students, one teacher and about a million Aides.  He was placed there because the year prior he had a difficult time.  I'm not really sure what it was about his pre-school that turned my child into a behavioral disaster but, it happened....all year.  When the district observed him our hope for inclusion was squashed and honestly, that was fine.  I knew he needed more support than inclusion could have provided, so in reality it was a blessing in disguise.

About a month into the school year Frankie's behaviors had almost all been extinguished.  He still had some social issues, not understanding boundaries and copying other behaviors positive or negative , he would then take those behaviors to an extreme.  Because social issues could only be remedied by positive role models his special ed teacher made the decision to start mainstreaming him for specials and certain time of the day.....cue water works.

Unfortunately, my tears were not of joy but instead of fear.  This is what I had been waiting for, this was our chance, he was ready to be with typical peers, he was ready, I was not.  As his teacher told me I started hyperventilating slightly, she calmed me down, I was so worried.  I would constantly ask what the other kids thought of him, if they thought he was like them....maybe it was because I was teased growing up but, my biggest concern was how his peers would react.

You have to understand that a child's diagnosis or issues can not be shared with the children in the classroom or their parents because of confidentiality.  I am all for confidentiality (hence photo cover ups) but I didn't realize at first that NO ONE in the mainstream class knew where my son came from, why he had an aid or what his all around deal was.  SO while I get respecting our privacy, if they would have told me I would have MADE the teacher tell everyone, heck I would have written a letter to every parent.....

Here is where I get to say Thank you and be happy my son hit another child (this is the ONLY time lol).   I was lucky enough that a mom asked me about Frankie.  That she made mention of a situation and I got to explain Frankie and how to deal with him.  I spoke to that same mom today and she mentioned how she was happy she talked to me back in October because after becoming AWARE she could talk to her son and now the boys were friends.  I am thankful that Other moms ASKED about him and I am happy I have no issue telling.  My son had a great year because people were aware of his situation and some explained it to their children who then understood Frankie.

So I say THANK YOU!  Thank You for asking, thank you for caring and thank you for suggesting.....

Yes, Thank you for suggesting.  Because of the suggestion of two moms, we are working on an Awareness type program staring for the younger kids this year in SEPTA. (Another Story for another BLOG)

I've said it before in different Forums but, I am So Thankful to everyone in that class that took the time to Ask, to listen and to accept him.  In two weeks he starts school again.  This time in a 12:1:1 1st grade.  I'm sad because he won't be mainstreaming as much (unless he surpasses the class academically) but I know he will see his friends at lunch and recess..... Here is to another great year.....and if he is mainstreamed and there is a question, i pray they ask.

Why We Went Gluten Free

That may be misleading.....WE did not all go Gluten Free But, my son with Autism did.  Now before you jump to any conclusions.....let me explain.

It seems to be a common theme in my life that anything I have been strongly opposed to.....God places squarely on my lap.  Decide you don't want to be a special Ed teacher....get a son with ASD, Say you hate Suffolk county and would never live there...marry a man from Suffolk county and briefly live there, Make fun of the house that looked too "dark" because it was dark gray with black shutter..... will end up living in said house in the next year......sooooo

When Frankie was diagnosed with Autism, the FIRST thing I said was.....there is no way I'm doing those crazy diets, this kid loves bread and I'm not taking that from him.  We had already established that dairy did a number on his stomach so along with some metabolic blood work our doctor decided he would run an entire blood work up....allergies, titers, EVERYTHING.  2 trips to the North shore Labs and 19 viles of blood later I got the call.  My son had come up with a heterozygous MTHFR gene mutation (common among children with autism) and.....he came up VERY positive on 3 out of 4 markers for Celiacs and almost over average on the 4th.  So there I had it, I swore up and down I wasn't going to try that Fad diet thing and 6 months later i was slapped with a diagnosis of Celiacs. 

We later met with a pediatric gastroentorologist who did a endoscopy on him.  Since he was 3 we were lucky he did not have any intestinal damage BUT here was the conflicting issue.  I had the Gastro tell me I had two options....to keep him on his diet and rescope him until he has a positive intestinal biopsy or just go Gluten Free.  Gastro suggested to just go Gluten Free since the blood work doesn't lie, his body WAS in fact producing antibodies against the Gluten proteins.  At the same time the pediatrician was saying if the biopsy was negative to just continue on his regular diet. 

I regretfully just kept feeding him gluten.....it was easy and our Pediatrician ok'd it.  Well after a year....yes, my dumb ass waited a year, I made the decision to go Gluten Free without the positive intestine biopsy.   His behaviors were off the wall, it was my last resort.  So in March of 2013 Frankie went Gluten Free.  In the next few months his behaviors were FINALLY more manageable and his poop was FINALLY normal (who knew?)  We had 2 slip ups though.  On 2 occasions he has Gluten from breaded chicken.......and like clock work 8 hours later i had a child vomiting all over the place.....I didn't need a positive biopsy, that was enough. 

He's been Gluten Free for over a year now.  He knows 100% what he can and can not eat.  He is so scarred from those 2 vomiting incidents that in a  room full of kids eating cookies he doesn't even get jealous, he rather eat nothing then get sick. 

So, That is our story of Gluten.  As of a couple months ago I'm starting to be concerned about my youngest with the Gluten also.  He's showing some similar issues (minus the autism)in regards to tummy pain, it may just be teeth but I'm monitoring it.  :)

Our Pet Lady Bug named Andrew

 People will talk of signs and symbols that bring them peace and reassurance, I have my own as well.  At this point in my life I have many, many "God winks" but the oldest and original was a Lady Bug.  For those who know me for a long time you know about it already.  Lady bug screen names, Lady bug tattoos, lady bug mixing bowls, lady bug themed daughters room....yea I could go on.

I remember once, after 10 or so years, pondered the thought that I was making all this up and it was just a coincidence.  That night I went and did a Thirty-One Party for a hostess I didn't know.  After about 5 minutes in her house she told me she was a Medium.  As a Christian this is a no no but I'm in her house so I just continue on with my business until, a la Teresa Caputo she started saying things that almost made me vomit and a the end of it all I was shaking so hard I had to sit down.  She told me the lady bugs were God telling me to chill out.  I left feeling...interesting.  The next morning I told myself it was all crap, as accurate as she was, it had to be crap ...then I walked out my front door and a bug hit me in the face, like a slap and landed on the house.  Fine, Fine, I'll accept it.   So yea, I see them less now that I get other God winks but if I'm being particularly stubborn and not looking toward God or having faith, they will come around....fly in my car and such (yes that happened once too).

Anyway back story over......A few months ago I saw this tiny, size of a nickel, Murano glass Lady Bug at a boutique in Rockville Centre .  I decided to purchase it even though I thought $8 for a tiny glass bug was a little ridiculous.  I figured I would keep in in my wallet as a good luck type thing.....that is until  my daughter saw it. 

I'm not sure if everyone knows what its like to argue with a 3.5 year old girl.   In the end I lost and my daughter started carrying around a little glass lady bug she so sweetly names Andrew.  At this stage of the game all three kids are fighting over it and its gotten to the point where I have to ration time with Andrew.......a little glass lady bug.  Through out the day you will hear me yell "where is Andrew, who has him?"  " How did Andrew get being the couch?" "Get Andrew out of your mouth!"  They have a million toys yet this is what has been entertaining them for weeks. 

I've been surprised it hasn't been lost yet.......Well, maybe it has been lost.  This morning I found him under clean laundry and just before while I was asking God if I should get my hopes up about my "dreams" coming true....... I picked up a block and found Andrew under it.  Maybe that was a yes, maybe it was a relax but it snapped me out of my funk.

I paused in my writing to yell at my kids for jumping off a dresser onto the couch......yes you read that right, they invent the most dangerous games.  In the midst of my ranting, I catch my daughter, holding a tiny glass lady bug named Andrew that I swore I put out of reach.

Why I abandoned 'The Neurotypical Mom'

Some of you know our story from my days as The Neurotypical Mom.  In March of 2011 my son was placed on the Spectrum and I had no where to turn.  I don't mean to say I didn't have tons of resources or people to support me.  It was more that I didn't know anyone who had a kid like mine.  Being a spectrum, all kids on it are different and I needed to place larger then my town to find people who had a kid like mine......so.....what better then the INTERNET!

At that point in my life I ate, breathed and slept Autism.  Here is was on my front door, I let it in and was trying to help it get comfortable.  As you may have read in my last post, no one was going to give me an answer on where my son may or may not end up or where he would fall on the spectrum.  It was highly suggested I purchase an Ipad and think about a program like Proloquo to assist him in communicating.  While I knew he would be ok, I never made any concrete plans for the future because who knew.

It was through the Neurotypical Mom that I could finally write what I was feeling and be able to connect with people across the country and the world who felt the same way.  I have formed so many friendships with these people and it was what I needed and what I still LOVE. I am forever grateful for that.

 In the last year I have been quiet on The Neurotypical Mom because I felt like it as no longer "me" or "us".  Frankie has come so far and Autism has become something I think about maybe 3rd or 4th on my list of stresses and even there I'm not very much stressed about it.  I have two other typical children and the three of them are amazing together.  I started my own business painting and refurbishing furniture and became a stand up comic.......ok the last part isn't true.....Im more of Facebook comic.  Its also a secret of mine that apparently I might have a touch of ADHD according to a therapist and psychiatrist I saw about 10 years ago, but I told them to shove it because I like being the way I am.  My secret for a long time is I might not be Neurotypical at all with that ADHD likelihood

So I resign as The Neurotypical Mom and am Now Just Danielle over at 'Happily Painted After'.  Sure I will talk about Autism a bunch but, I will also talk about painting, cooking, PTA, essential oils, fancy crystal collections, making fairy gardens, potty training, biting toddlers and MORE.

The Neurotypical Mom was my cocoon time, and now this Chick is a Butterfly

Love,
Danielle

P.S.  Come visit me and Like me on FB at " Happily Painted After "